One factor that can be critically damaging to a sale is your internal negative self-talk, causing doubt in your ability to turn that appointment into an application. The new year is a great time to take the reigns and flip the switch on your internal dialogue!
Negative self-talk comes in the following forms:
Filtering: magnifying the negative aspects of a situation while filtering out the positive ones (you're usually on time with deadlines but are late once and now feel incompetent).
Personalizing: when something bad occurs, you automatically blame yourself (plans get canceled and you assume it’s because people didn’t want to be around you).
Catastrophizing: automatically anticipating the worst (you ran out of creamer this morning, now your day will be horrific).
Polarizing: there is only good or bad, there is no middle ground. You feel if you aren’t perfect, you’re a failure.
Although it takes time and practice, you CAN learn to change those negative thoughts to positive ones! Here are a few ideas from the Mayo Clinic to help:
Identify areas to change: pay attention to what causes those negative thoughts to arise, and jot them down. By being mindful of the thoughts themselves, you can begin to take steps to modify them.
Challenge negative self-talk: Negative thoughts are frequently connected to irrational beliefs. When you catch yourself having them, challenge them. Using concrete, positive affirmations is a great place to start. Instead of “I am never going to get this right,” challenge the thought with “I am doing my best, and my best is enough.”
Be open to humor: Give yourself permission to smile or laugh, especially during difficult times. Seek humor in everyday happenings. When you can laugh at life, you feel less stressed.
Surround yourself with positive people: As you focus on shifting your thoughts, you will find yourself more aware of negative people. Make an effort to be around people who have a more positive frame of mind. It will help you as you find your balance!
Practice positive self-talk: Start by following one simple rule - Don't say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to anyone else. Be gentle and encouraging with yourself. If a negative thought enters your mind, evaluate it rationally and respond with affirmations of what is good about you. Think about things you're thankful for in your life.
Negative Self-Talk | Positive Self-Talk |
I've never done it before. | It's an opportunity to learn something new. |
It's too complicated. | I'll tackle it from a different angle. |
I don't have the resources. | Necessity is the mother of invention. |
I'm too lazy to get this done. | I wasn't able to fit it into my schedule, but I can re-examine some priorities. |
There's no way it will work. | I can try to make it work. |
It's too radical a change. | Let's take a chance. |
No one bothers to communicate with me. | I'll see if I can open the channels of communication. |
I'm not going to get any better at this. | I'll give it another try. |
Remember, this isn’t going to happen overnight. Like creating any habit, it will take effort and practice, but the more you try, the better you’ll get and the more natural it will become!
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